we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
