hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
