I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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