so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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