with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
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YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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