Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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