It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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