Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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