you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
