Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
