don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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