I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
