Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?