My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
the liver wants what the liver wants
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.