I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
