So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..