Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.