Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dating After Heartbreak
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...