Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
