i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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