guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
