Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
