Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
