sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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