All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
