Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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