you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize