We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
