if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
