i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
