It's like God shit irony all over that family
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
