im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
