apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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