All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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