so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Enjoy the penises
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
