We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
