just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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