um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
