I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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