Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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