i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
