Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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