LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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