SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
My life is pants optional.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize