I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ketchup is God's man juice
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
