I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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