The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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