I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
