i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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