A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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