How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
