no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
