Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
