bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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