are you so shy because you have an std?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
