it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize