You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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