Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
