at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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