I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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