Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
