just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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