So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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