Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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