Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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