You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
