some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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