She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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