"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
