i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You can't just leave with hair like that
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
