Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
